A Spotless Mind

"How happy is the blameless vestal's lot!
The world forgetting, by the world forgot.
Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind!
Each pray'r accepted, and each wish resign'd;"

"Eloisa to Abelard"
-Aleander Pope



I don't like talking about literature (usually because I come away with something completely different than others). I guess it makes me feel inferior that I focus on random vignettes and ideas instead of looking for the literal.

Having that said. Here it goes...

First fell in love with this in one of my favorite movies, "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind." It always reminded me of my Dad. Maybe it's mostly because of the images they show while it's being read during the film; regardless, I think the feeling it gives reminds me of the greatest things my Dad taught me.

I love the idea of being carefree. Of not having a fear in the world. (Mom, this is not another time to bring up your 'marvelous' book on tape you've been trying to push on me for the past 7 years.)

It's a gift to find joy. All of us have been given that gift; however, some have been blessed with an amazing talent of finding the positive in anything.

My Dad was one of those people. He wanted to have a spotless mind. If he could take away all the pain in the world he would have done it without thinking twice.

Even though I sound like a creep saying it, I am greatful for pain. Struggle is the greatest opportunity for growth. Never have I felt more liberated than looking back at a time when I fell flat on my face and stood back up and kept going. I hope someday to have balance. Find joy in it's fullest, and take advantage of all the headway each painful experience has to offer.

Couldn't be more lucky than to have my Dad keeping my head in the clouds, and Mom holding my feet on the ground.

Miss you Dad. Love you Mom.

Everything will be fine

Cedar Rapids, my (unfortunate) hometown for the next few months.

The city was flooded a few years ago and is now just starting to get back on its feet. A few blocks away from my apartment is where the majority of the damage was.



This is a picture of some (quite attractive I'm sure) man from Cedar Rapids. If any of you are wondering...yes, 90% of the people in Iowa do indeed look similar to this man. The reason I posted that man is because of the blue porch lights behind him. When I asked a local what the lights were for, I was told the symbolism of blue lights in a home is overcoming trials. Being able to fight through anything. Not letting something that may seem devastating overcome you with grief.

It is inspiring to drive home every night and see this row of 10 or 15 houses with their blue lights lit proudly in the dark. Amidst blocks of ruin, this group of neighbors decided to come together and pick up their lives right where the flood left them. I'll have to get a decent picture before I leave, it really is the only cool part of this town...but it's pretty interesting and I've never seen anything like it.

Details in the Fabric
-Jason Mraz

Calm down
Deep breaths
And get yourself dressed instead
Of running around
And pulling all your threads and
Breaking yourself up

If it's a broken part, replace it
If it’s a broken arm then brace it
If it's a broken heart then face it

And hold your own
Know your name
And go your own way
Hold your own
Know your name
And go your own way

And everything will be fine

Hang on
Help is on the way
Stay strong
I'm doing everything

Hold your own
Know your name
And go your own way
Hold your own
Know your name
And go your own way

And everything
Everything will be fine
Everything

Are the details in the fabric
Are the things that make you panic
Are your thoughts results of static cling?

Are the things that make you blow
Hell, no reason, go on and scream
If you're shocked it's just the fault
Of faulty manufacturing.

Everything will be fine
Everything in no time at all
Everything

Hold your own
And know your name
Go your own way

Are the details in the fabric (Hold your own)
Are the things that make you panic (Know your name)
Are your thoughts results of static cling? (Go your own way)

Hold your own
Know your name
Go your own way.

Are the details in the fabric (Hold your own)
Are the things that make you panic (Know your name)
Is it Mother Nature's sewing machine? (Go your own way)
Are the things that make you blow (Hold your own)
Hell no reason go on and scream (Know your name)
If you’re shocked it's just the fault (Go your own way)
Of faulty manufacturing

Everything will be fine
Everything in no time at all
Hearts will hold

"Leaving Town"

"Oh your reputation is so golden
You're never lonely and you're never home
I know you've been talking about leaving
You've lost all your feelings for this town.
Paint your nails and put your lipstick
You don't want to miss your ticket out.
Just because you graduate from school
So high in the gene pool that's your point of view.

But when you're broke and down and no one else is around
You'll come running back to this town and
I'll be there, yeah I'll be there.

'Cause I remember how we drank time together
And how you used to say that the stars are forever.
And daydreamed about how to make your life better by
Leaving town, leaving town.

Pack your bags, your smokes in your pocket
You're wearing my locket around your neck
Take a drag and wait for the Greyhound
The world is your playground and you want to win.

But when you're broke and down and no one else is around.
You'll come running back to this town and
I'll be there, yeah I'll be there.

...

Nothing in life will ever come that easy.
Doesn't mean it has to be that hard.
I know you will find out who you are
But when you're broke and down and no one else is around.
You'll come running back to this town and
I'll be there, yeah I'll be there."

-Dexter Freebish

Ballin'?

well...kinda?

So, I have 2 phones.

I was essentially forced into getting an iPhone yesterday. Of course I wanted one; however, I just didn't want to pay for it and love blaming other people for my problems (who doesn't).

My choices:

a. Get the phone now. company pays for it, gives me $125 credit on my bill and pays 12% of monthly. AAAAANNNNDDDD....I still will gouge my eyes out every time I see a phone bill for the next 4 months.

b. Get the phone later. I pay for it. Company pays for service during the summer, yet I am still in a stupid 2 years contract.

SO. After my flawed/preferred version of 'CBA' influenced by a little (a lot) of the joy I find in an elusive impulse buy I got an iPhone.

Now to the reason I have 2 phones:

I don't know. It was cheaper than canceling my contract? I have attachment issues? Maybe I really find some sort of joy in having what I honestly hope to be a pleasant conversation with an 800-number turn into a fight and I win EVERY time...I will give a seminar on it someday.

If you get a prank call from me (using the phone of my choice) feel loved. It is most likely bound to happen.



Now for something more worth your time...

The band 'Other Lives.'

You will thank me someday. I promise.


Regards,

Juan