Another good movie...

'The measure of a great life isn't how well loved you are, but how well you love others.'

-Rachel Getting Married

Just one of those nights...

Driving just outside of downtown Anchorage at 12:30 a.m. last night. Yes, the pic is blurry...it was taken on a cell phone. Give me a break. Hopefully I'll get a camera soon.

Keane - Hamburg Song

I don't wanna be adored
Don't wanna be first in line
Or make myself heard
I'd like to bring a little light
To shine a light on your life
To make you feel loved

No, don't wanna be the only one you know
I wanna be the place you call home

I lay myself down
To make it so, but you don't want to know
I give much more
Than I'd ever ask for

Will you see me in the end
Or is it just a waste of time
Trying to be your friend
Just shine, shine, shine
Shine a little light
Shine a light on my life
And warm me up again

Fool, I wonder if you know yourself at all
You know that it could be so simple

I lay myself down
To make it so, but you don't want to know
You take much more
Than I'd ever ask for

Say a word or two to brighten my day
Do you think that you could see your way

To lay yourself down
And make it so, but you don't want to know
You take much more
Than I'd ever ask for

So I made it.

Finally.

After the longest drive of my life, I finally arrived. The weather is great, the city is nice, and I couldn't ask for a better group of people to work with.

Tonight I am up at all hours of the night just thinking about many random things, one of which made me want to vent and give all of you a peek into what may just be my life.

Tomorrow I need to fire someone. Do I know this person? Not really. Do I like him? Not really. Would I like to have him out of my office? Frankly, yes. Here I am, wanting to rid someone from my responsibility and worry. The opportunity presented itself, now I have grounds to fire him.

I don't want to.

Thinking about it I realize that although this kid will never have anything in common with me, he has been rude, lazy, and is just the type of person I don't ever want to work with...I am devastated to break the news that his summer is no longer the easy street he expects it to be. I will be causing him not only to be out of a job, but finding himself and his girlfriend jobless driving across the country to start back at square one.

So many times, I have found myself thinking I have finally found something that works. Something that makes me happy, or that place I think I belong only to have it ripped out from under me in an instant. This is exactly what I am creating. That hurt. That uncertainty. Sorrow. Failure. Insufficiency. How could I do that to someone?

I hope he learns from this. The idea that I may be presenting a learning opportunity is the one thing that gives me hope. Please change. Please don't dwell on this. Please forgive me.